Friday, May 15, 2009

before u stop my playlist, u may wanna pause n listen to tis song. its a beautiful n a gentle song..
when i listen to this song, it reminds of my 1st time when i came church. n how i foughted the battle to stay on. been thru alot of obstacles both self-made and family oppositions.. im so innocent to the new things that stand before mi in church..yet deep in my heart i desired to step on this journey of faith..

now i've come this "far", yet my friends hav left mi. the friends that 1st brought mi to church, the friends that brought mi back when i backslided, the friends that i invited to church some hav left mi..

the 7 pillars of our "new" cellgrp has now decreased to 5. yeah, some of them sort of draw away..
during the days before our cg multiplied, its like "honeymoon" in church. i believe most new friends in church experience this..

most things hav changed. cellgroup meeting place, anchor service, cellgrp members, new responsibilities..some couldnt get use. but i think we should time n time again look unto jesus if we feel lost.

still rmb 2 or 3 years ago..my anchor srv was expo 5.30 sat.. b4 jurongwest srv expanded. so after fellowshipping, reached home late.. at times even board on the last train home. so when rch home, mom or dad will shout at mi. (dats b4 my parents came to church). i couldnt explain to them..but im glad dey didnt forbit mi to go church or implement a rule to go church once every 2 weeks like most of my frens's parents did to them. so the shouting n scolding continued whenever i rch home in the night. yeah, i was not veri grown up yet, of course my parents wouldnt allow mi rch home late at night..

so after much of these, grew veri tired, feel like giving up. but i didnt. gave up once, never will i again. alot happen. ALOT. jealousy arosed, wanted stuff frm my mom dat she never gives..its funni to mention it now! i begged for tution money, she fobitted. hahas! come to tink of it, i could handle my studies then, y do i desperately nid tution! other reasons too dat made mi dispointed in my mom. kept myself in the room n stuff. cried in the toilet secretly..wanna leave home. attempted twice to leave home. but found out frm my mom twice. third time sort of succeeded.

one night,after service, went home. still bearing the burdens of gonna kena scolding again..
during srv, pst Kong ministered to us. asked us to shout out the name of the person we hated the most n pray for them n forgive them. yeah of course i shouted my mommy's name! pastor said when we go home dat nite, forgiveness will take place n sth miraculous will happen if we forgive.. kept tearing in hope of a miracle to stop the 2months cold war wiv my mom.. but when i went home, got scolded again. somehow or another, my mom brought my bag wiv my chlothes dat i packed initially to get prepared if i were to leave home. kinda funni to think of it now. yah but back then, i was that childish. she brought my bag to the gate n open the doors n throw mi out of the house. not literally throw, but wanted mi to leave since i wanted it so much.

den i thought to myself "pst said sth will happen? y is God forsaking mi this minute when he said in the bible that as i trust in him,lean not on my own understanding, he'll make my path straight?" so i felt so heart broken n disapointed n left home. as i am wondering below my blk, thinkin of where should i stay for the night n my future, my papa came dwn n found mi. at first, i wanted to run away frm him. of course i couldnt. so eventually he sort of hugged mi, te 1st time. a fatherly love. i kept crying n explaining to him my problems. he sat mi down and talk to mi n told mi how bad my mom felt toward mi dat she is not doing enuff for mi. after much persuading. yeah, i went up wiv him to my hse.. let my heart out to my papa alrdy for the veri 1st time.

when i got home, my papa brought mi to his room n wanted mi to apologized to my mom. i saw my mom weeping badly lying on the bed n saying "im not a gd mother!". when i see her like that it hurts my heart of course. so i said sorry. yeah. that's how we reconciled after more than 2months of cold war. as in literally not talkin to each other not even a word in a whole day for the past two months.

i thought to myself. indeed God is faithful in keeping his promise. that veri night when pastor ministered to us to forgive n forget, and all shall be made well..it came true. for me. at first i was like, how come its not coming true, after much thought, if my mom hasnt throw mi out of hse, we wouldnt hav reconciled..i wouldnt hav made up my mind to think positive n change my attitude.

after that i sort of brought both of my youngest sis joy n gladys to children church. n then followed by my mom.. den my sis. den finally my papa! my papa is like a SUPER NO to church. well, in the end for the first time he came to church, he responded to altar call n ran down to altar immediately when pst said "come out now". my leader was like chasing after him to the stage to take care of him.. hahas! i tried bringing my grandparents to church. they r a MUCH NONO than my papa. like parents like son. aniwae i tried. they came dwn twice wiv my aunts.. to chinese church srv n main service. even thought they r veri negative abt it n still against us gg to church, but i believe once dey stepped into the hse of God, dey cn nv escape frm salvation animore.. i believe dere will be mani opporunities to let mi bring them to church.

i gave my testimony during the first cellgroup mtg at my hse for the veri 1st time. rmb i brought 18 frens to cgm! dats the veri first time dat i brought that mani frens..at least to mi. i grew veri nervous abt sharing of testimony. when im saying my testimony, my mom was looking at mi. i couldnt controlled myself. i cried on the spot as i say my testimony..i dunno did my mommy cried, but her eyes r red. so my frens encouraged mi to continued saying even thought they r not christians..i wiped my tears n continued. to my surprise, at the end of it, frens came up to mi n said dey wanna come church wiv mi the nxt day. im so glad! yeah, one of them is erika qiyin and kelly. im glad erika stayed. even though kelly left, but she found a great church dat she likes =]

its an amazing experience years ago..alot has happened. found some pics in my old frenster account dat depicts my journey in church.

this is taken while q-ing for service 4 door to open. FIR came to sing! the fir poster, some childrenchurch tchr gave to mi after dey attended service 2. hehe

one of my best fren weihao and my sister jus got baptised! gave them candles,apple and salt. they r the light of the world and the salt of the earth..apple of Gods's eyes!

one of the fellowship wiv ex cellgrp

went to play bowling and pool

all the butts! cant realli recognize who's butts belongs to who..haHas

valentine day selling roses at orchard wiv some ex cellgrp frens

one of the cellgrp mtg

one of the last pics taken wiv ex cg before multiply..taken during thxgiving! its a great n memorable time

one of the outrch combined wiv ex cell

candlelight srv

rose and catherine. they've changed alot now!

oh! this was taken last 2 yrs ago when im serving in childrenchurch. at the same time taking care of my younger sisters in their cch srv. she wore my usher snow cap!

one of the outrch at my place..

look at all those shoes outside the gate..its gonna flood the lift pathway..

frens dat came dwn..

rick, violet, chun heng. rose among thorns!

2nd youth camp at PHS

our sleeping site in classroom.

in youth camp tee. code red tee. green!

my best fren!

gary my cousin and grayson frm my cg..im glad at least my cousin came dwn n stay for a while for youth camp...

having a hard time trying to gather n make sure my cousins stayed wiv us instead of wander off out of campus..! which dey did more than 3times in one day. =[

in red, is ck.. our mentor for the camp

1st youth camp pics below.
xiuyin,aihui.wait till dey see this n get a shock. all of our hairstyles changed drastically!

mark,jason,grayson,chun feng!

felicia,sherri,kelly

huggable jozzy

all the glasses wiv candles litted prepared by us for thxgiving. beautiful?

arm wrestle wiv erica for one of the game.

cheeloong. he should be coming back after i complete my Alevel

gyming wiv some ex cellgrp frens n classmates at my papa work place.

this may seems simple..but its sweet k! cus got violet foot inside!

1st emerge captainball game 2 or 3 years ago

water baptism! mommy came dwn to support. auntie bought mi a sunflower

whities!

this is a sketch book made by kelly before she left our church. she did this for cheeloong. took the pics of the sketchbook of all the wonderful deco dat she did.

indeed God has put a plan in my life ever since i m a young girl or even a baby! even though im not sure of the plan yet, but i believe for every steps i take, God will go before mi. to guide mi.. "trust,trust in the lord wiv all ur heart. lean not on ur own understanding. in all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct ur paths. proverbs" 3:5-6.

saw this pic in church website. papa is inside! so proud of him even though he didnt managed to win. papa,most right hand side, last guy. taken in men conference.

my ldr, xue en. woah he won! $200 sports voucher! too bad ah, cnt go support. ladies not allowed!

finally..last year, my wish came true. my papa came to church! finalised my wish of all family members recieve christ! or is it last 2 years ago? another goal: get grandparents saved.

gladys is now actively participating in childrenchurch events..like acting in plays in "when i grow up" and "special". hmm, she told mi she sang in choir for xmas. yeah, n dance sort of..asia conference came out n dance her way out. hmm, i think she is one of the j7 nxt generation. joyjoy now enjoys cch n her teachers dotes her alot! she is now more open in dancing n showing off her talent in dance. their cch teacher asks them to join modelling course lesson in cch by top models. great man! hope dey cn do a gd job! yeah, great loOng legs for their age. indeed, WE CANT DESPISE THE YOUTHS.. dey cn do great things hahas!

papa n mommy once a while come to church for service n events. like once every 2 weeks. hmm, dey r busi wiv work, n cant seems to go for any cellgrp mtgs. papa won the fittest dad contest last fathers' day in church. kinda coincidental, he's my zone supervisor's personal instructor for gyming. mommy buys food for cellgrp mtgs refreshments at times. enjoys don moen songs and worships. she supports my sis in cch. fashion consultant n sponsor for all her peformances. oh yar.. she does the make up too lol!

eugenia and i are now in the same cellgrp n same ministry,strikeforce. eugenia loves praise songs n have an eye to look out for ppl left out during fellowships. she's veri fillial towards my parents and grandparents! she's the key to my nxt goal. hehe

this year, i sort of start the year well. but now, for the past few months..im not doing veri well in my studies in jc. cannot blance studies,ministry,family. kinda mess up alot of stuff.. all the target setting goals on my wall r still "2008's"!! hmm..i should tear them dwn n set new goals.. n pray that the nxt goal getting grandparents saved will be ticked off! im veri lazi, full of lathargy..hav a veri bad attitude towards my studies now.. cnt cope n stuff.. keep playing n laze. n worst of all, not enuff slp and not enough time most of the time! not enuff time to spend time wiv family, do revision yet i still play n laze.. oh man.. i realli gonna change my attitude. i dun wanna retain! i've got alot of weaknesses i realised this year! but HE said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that christ's power may rest on me. that is why for Christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong." 2 Cor 12: 9-10.

CIAOS! xD

Posted at 5:37 PM

Handwriten by Felicia.L