Saturday, May 21, 2011
Isaiah 43:18-19
"But forget all that, it is nothing compared to what i am going to do. For i am about to do something new. See! i had already begun! Do u not see it? I will make a pathway thru the wilderness. i will create rivers in the dry wastelands."
maybe its sth that im not seeing? for His ways are way beyong my ways. for i cant understand his wonders now.
I pray that He will guide me and comfort me.
Psalm 27
THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION. WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRONGHOLD OF MY LIFE, OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID? WHEN EVIL DOERS ASSAIL ME TO EAT UP MY FLESH, MY ADVERSARIES AND FOES, IS IS THEY WHO STUMBLE AND FALL.
Well it is much difficult to accept reality, realities are worldy and unjust, but it is Him who place us there for a purpose, "For he knows the way that i take,when He has tested me, i WILL come forth as GOLD. "--Job 23:10
Posted at 2:35 AM
Handwriten by Felicia.L
Friday, May 20, 2011
Putting on the shield of faith
~my Good and beautiful week~
Thx God for a wonderful cellgroup :D they are so understanding and more than what i can ask for. i feel so blessed being in this cg :)
This is me and my bestie friend! shu rou! she's so fun to hang out with and she understands every single joke that i crack which not everybody understands. nobody else can ever replace her! :D
its still the same girl incase u r wondering. we LAUGH tgt almost ALL the time. :D
This is me and my another bestie friend RACHEL. xD she knows me inside out. Thank God for such a NICE FRIEND WHERE I CANT FIND ANYWHERE :D im hard to tolerate but she accept all my flaws! i simply LOVE HER.
hello this is me after so loooong.
ok here goes...(its boring, u could glance, skip, do anything u want, or just browse fb and just
listen to my alarice-midnight train track.) LOL.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
what am i actually doing? im chilling too much for my own good. not working, not studying not doing anything. im doing exactly what bruno mars is singing " today i dont feel liek doing anything".
well i like chilling at home, occasionally helping out some house chores, using my laptop watching some good covers of songs sung and played or jammed by some ppl who r yet to be discovered.
well i enjoy playing sports with my friends and just sweating all out.
well i like to practice on the guitar even thou it seems like i am playing a few rubber bands beign tied to a box. ( thats how bad i am)
well i like to sing a little at home and also just immitating some ppl's voice ( which can get quite addictive over time)
but i...
do not like working (having to do the same stuff over and over again)
do not like to step out of home to go some place i dont like knowing i would dread it.
do not like to hang out with ppl whom i tink would be ratehr boring and NEGATIVE.
i do not like talking to ppl who are so downright negative, they turns me off immediately. ( i am not talking abt depressed ppl, but more of those who put the word "die" and "fail" and "wont la" on their lips all the time) but im definitely trying to engage them as much as possible to spread some POSITIVITY to them.
so what i am tryign to say is that...
I AM JUST WASTING MY TIME AWAY FOR THIS HOLIDAY.
i cant exactly say "wasting", becus this break, i TOTALLY DESERVE IT.
for 15 STRAIGHT YEARS OF MUGGING WITHOUT ANY TUITION without any help frm centres yet to climb myself up to express stream, and to JC. dont u tink i totally deserve this looooong break that ppl say im wasting? i may never get it again in my life (especially in this worldly earth which always talks abt work)
i feel rather recharged alrdy and have confidence and FAITH that i will defnitely do well in Uni. right now im just waiting for my uni application results.
HONESTLY, THIS ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME.
im so scare, everynight literally im tinking of my future.
almost every night i just tell God that im assured that my future is in His hands. and I will follow wherever he wants me to go and do.
but definitely i still got the chills tinking abt what could probably happen that i don not wish to happen.
i do not wish to even mention abt what could possibly be the worse to happen.
cus i believe that what i THINK, SPEAK, VISUALIZE AND CONFESS definitely can change what is gonna happen. in other words, im refering to pastor yongi cho's "4th dimentional living" book. its probably the BEST BOOK I EVER READ.
ok so, mommy and frens, pls stop asking me where would i go and what would i do if....!
cus when God has called me to this area, it MUST be it.
i mean, He is gonna help me to get in, He is greater than any problem that i may face.
MY GOD IS GREATER, MY GOD IS OVER ALL! :)
ok ppl, pls stop scaring me. and pls stop asking what worse could happen. dont even think abt it.
FAITH IS THE HOPE I HANG ONTO TO BREAK ME FROM MY FALL.
ISAIAH 43 :18-19"but forget all that- it is nothing compared to what i am going to do. For I am about to do something NEW. See, i have already begun! Do u not see it? I WILL make a pathway through the wilderness. I WILL create rivers in the dry wasteland." When i read this verse of course doubts come, this is definitely due to my "this level of faith" which has yet to over pour. But it defnitely somehow assured me that He will make a way for me.
"God will make a way, where there seems to be no way" ( even thou times seems to be running out for me)
Let me share u a verse that i read it almost every single day on the train to sch for "ALEVEL TRAINING".
haggai 2:18-19 (NIV)"Think about this eighteenth day of December, teh day when the rebuilding of the Lord's Temple began. Think carefully. I am giving u a PROMISE NOW while the seed is still in the barn. You have not yet harvested ur grain, and ur grapevines, fig trees, pomegranates and olive trrees have not yet produced their crops, BUT FROM THIS DAY I WILL BLESS YOU!"THIS DAY! how absolute can God be! every day i read this and this reminds me that THIS DAY HE WILL BLESS ME even though i cant see any roots sprouting out of what i had sowed.
I hate that im a worrier. FELICIA, u r definitely not a worrier. spirit of worries, let me tell u, u r nth compared to what my God is gonna do for me! :)
i guess confessing really helps, helps alot in realizing what has yet to happen.
let me recap...
Pastoe Cho mentioned that
1) thinking(sowing the start of something)
2) faith(believing)
3) dreams(visualizing)
4) words (confessing)
are the factors that influence what is about to happen, from the fourth dimentional realm and penetrate it into the 3rd dimentional realm.
now, im questioning myself, what am i waiting for? i need more work on the faith factor. i do think, i do dream i do confess. But to tackle and raise my faith level, i definitely need to equip myself with the word of God.
MUCH TO THINK AND PRAY HUH...
ok Ciao~!
Posted at 2:12 AM
Handwriten by Felicia.L
Friday, May 6, 2011
i'd rather have Jesus
(i) I feel safe in the centre of God's will
Its rather true, that there is no where safer to be than to be in the centre of God's will.
well this sentence strucked me. strucked me pretty much
that it got me thinking ABOUT MY FUTURE
mm... i get so easily discouraged (even thou i look strong), when ppl ask me
what course i want for Uni. when i replied "social work", ppl say"u sure not? it entails more than u think, r u sure u r up to it?"
or they would reply
"LOL u sure not? do u know the salary is very very low?"
so usually i will just say "oh im applying for psychology"since its simpler to understand in "their sense".
infact my family members will sort of pull me down or pour cold water on me by saying " why not chose psych, since it pays more"
or my dad will say "stupid, study so much do this?!"
And my uncle expectedly says "u no need to study untill degree to do social work"
or "do it as ur passion part time but not work"
hmmm... but i have long decided before my Alevels that social work degree
course is the one i wanted. or if not, im called for it by God.
its not exactly the course "i wanted".
i wanted glamorous career, high salary, comfy and stress free environment.well social work is the entire opposite of what i want. but ppl dun understand why i told them i want social work. well if i write on it will never end.
there are so many instances where God whispers to me that i HAVE TO DO IT.OR RATHER, I JUST HAVE TO BE IN THIS MARKET.
there r just so many many instances i hear this over n over again.
it felt calm with no pressure.
sometimes i chose to run away from this whisper that calls me to obedience by turning my head around to face somewhere literally or just think abt how glamorous it will be if im in this course or that course or this job or that job.
but somehow, something always pull me back and reminds me that
hey, I JUST HAVE TO DO IT.
ITS LIKE HOW? I ASK GOD.
hmm.. GOD answered "u do ur best, I DO THE REST"
WOW I HEAR THIS ALOT OF TIMES SO I SORT OF LIKE IGNORE.
but man, i know deep down in my heart la, that its sth Im being called to do even thou its not my choice la. somehow i develop a passion for social work and visitations gradually too.
weird right.
there r so many doubts, like
HOW MUCH WILL I BE PAID?
BUT MY FAMILY LIKE GOES ALL THE WAY TO DISCOURAGE ME
ESPECIALLY MY GRANDPARENTS AND UNCLE SIDE.
AM I GONNA SURVIVE?
CAN I COPE WITH THE STRESS?
WHAT IF PPL LOOK DOWN ON ME?
WILL I REGRET LOOKING AT PPL HIGE LUMP SUM OF PAY CHECK
WHEN MINE IS LIKE ONLI LESS THAT 40% OF THEIR'S?
WHERE CAN I TURN TO WHEN THERE R SO MANY OBJECTIONS?
hmm.. i "bluffed" myself say, eh why not psychology? pay slightly more
and its a good deed anyway to treat mentally illed patients.
hmm.. but something somehow always pul me back with the conclusion
"SOCIAL WORK" IS THE COURSE I ULTIMATELY HAVE TO GO"
seriousli ah, what can i do with the degree anyway? --- biggest doubt
but today i heard
"THERE IS NO WHERE SAFER THAN TO BE IN THE CENTRE OF GOD'S WILL"
WOW.
WOW.
WOW.
since God calls me to do it, i must be in the centre of His will right?
THEN IT MUST BE THE SAFEST ROUTE TO TAKE!
i shouldnt doubt anymore like how dangerous getting into that course could get me..
like the salary range,
the objections i face
the personal doubts of my capabilities..
cus GOD WILL TAKE CARE of this route he calls me to be in.
IN OTHER WORDS,
THERE IS NO COURSE SAFER THAN TO TAKE THIS.
becus...
IM IN THE CENTRE OF HIS WILL.
(ii)Talking to my old man in the mirror?
today i got back home and i was like " oh man, i spent so much within these few days"
with all that sister's bdays and mom's bday coming...
im broke liao la.
cus i give no mercy when i buy gifts.
oh gosh.. how ah?
scarli need to stay home for 1 mth cus no money go out liao.
silly me.
DIDNT GOD PROMISE THAT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF MY WORRIES
WHEN I CAST MINE ON HIM?
so why am i still worrying sia.
so i literally told myself in the mirror just now when i rched home that
"i'd rather have Jesus, than to have...
all the riches in the world"
i told myself...
"Since i have Jesus with me, why am i worrying?"
"He will provide for me surely"
"i dont care about riches and glory cus ultimately my purpose..
is to glorify Him and His kingdom
If i always think abt getting rich, wont my finances be my IDOL?
surely thats not what i want.
I told myself in the mirror that
i rather have Jesus than anything else.
i rather have him than a famous fun group of friends to hang out with
i rather hang out with Him.
i rather have Jesus than all the money that i can have.
cus my happiness comes from Him.
i rather have Jesus than a glam job.
I RATHER HAVE HIM THAN ANY OTHER FRIENDS THAT
I COULD HAVE THAT COULD EVER REPLACE JESUS IN MY LIFE.
i mean seriously pastor is right, why mixed myself in the world and
contaminate myself with earthly sins and GOSSIPS?
if ppl talk, i should just walk away and not contaminate myself with it.
so what if those ppl who talk abt it are the "cool gang"
it doesnt mean i must yoke myself with them.
cus ultimately its Jesus i wanna be with.
(iii) Take away points from ezekiel bs
# we r what we are by the grace of God. (not by our own strength)
# dont trust in ur own beauty or talent (cus God gave u it, not by ur own strength )
# if anyone touches me, he is touching the apple of God's eye
( bahaha so funny! cus im the apple of God's eye)
#Idol is anything that takes the place of God ( so get ur heart right)
# dont let the words of ur idol be more impt than God's word
#in a crisis, will we rely on the grace of God to sustain us
or reject the grace and allow hatred and bitterness to enter us?
#all trials are permitted by God and designed for our promotion (spiritually or breakthrus)
#lover of pleasure or lover of God?
#in severe troubles, God wil lalways give us a door of HOPE
so that no temptation or trial will overcome us"
recently i feel discouraged althou i picked myself up alrdy,
but i feel that whoever is reading this, might find this useful and relatable.
i felt discourage cus i felt that how come as a believer, im suppose to shine and get blessed more, yet i see my non believers friend getting "promotions" like getting to the Uni when i haven got any news yet so far, and they get the course they want and the scores they want inspite of anyhow submitting their choices. and the more sad thing to me during that period is that, these ppl dun even seem happy or cherish that they enter the course cus they think its normal or they deserve it totally. its like, if i were them i would be overjoyed la. they treat it like normal routine when others r yearning to get in while nv getting in, in their life time. how come ppl r so hard to please and hard to be satisfied?
then i felt life is unfair alittle. but usually in this kinda situation i pick myself up pretty fast. thx God for the bible.
the world is so unfair and injustice at times but...
"REALISE IN THIS UNCERTAIN WORLD, GOD IS CERTAIN. TRUST HIM AND KNOW THAT HE IS GONAN PROVIDE EVERYTHING U NEED BECUS HE LOVES U. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT U DONT UNDERSTAND JUST DO WHAT U THINK IS RIGHT. AND LET GOD TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING."
i will end my post with this beautiful song we sang today.
v1
i's rather have Jesus than silver or gold.
i' rather be His than have riches untold.
i'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands.
I'D RATHER BE LED BY HIS NAIL-PIERCED HAND.
chorus
than to be a QUEEN/king of a vast domain.
or be held in sins dread away.
i'd rather have Jesus than anything else.
this world affords today.
v2
i'd rather have Jesus than men's applause.
i'd rather be faitful to his dear cause.
i'd rather have Jesus than world wide fame.
i'd rather be true to his holy name.
bridge
He's fairer than lillies of rarest bloom.
He's sweeter than honey from out of the comb.
He's all that my hungering spirit needs.
I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead.
ciao xD
Posted at 2:04 AM
Handwriten by Felicia.L
