how long have i not update? hmm a week or 2? wow so much happen! God is working even in the midst of my weakest week.

I had turned pale but i am strong within

i had a loooooong break from school. a real long one. a self-initiated one. i fell sick and was absent for school for 6 DAYS!!! more than a week of missing of lessons, lectures and notes and tutorials. boy, i have so much to catch up! but God is just sooooo gooood! during the week that i was absent, 2 teachers were absent from class most of the time, and it happen to GP and eccons. yea, im so happy i didnt miss much from econs! althou i still have lit to catch up, and even geog massive content, and also all my homeworks i owed, God is still good to me! He's just so goood to me! God is good, all the time! all the time, God is good!

what happen to me was that on fri the week before last was that i've developed rashes all over my body. yeah its super disgusting. i mean not on my face la, but its all over my back, my upper thighs and my arms. yes, i scratched and it bleeds sometimes! oh man, but that's not the big sickness. the next day was saturday, the day that i have to go down to jamie's to settle my sale of my beloved drumset.

my last look of it and there i go with $580. i felt that i was like selling a junk which worth so much. cus actually its 3rd hand! and i sold it thru a 2nd hand forum! lols, i wanted to sell it at $700, but after a week, no replies and no buyers contact me. i guess its too much and high for a "2nd hand drumset". so after a week i adjusted the price to $600, which was the price i paid to get it. so, i wanted to sell at the cost price, and i felt why not make it neogtiable since i no longer find interest nor really needed the money, i just need to get rid of it right away before building fund starts. so i decided to gave it off at $580 after nego. to me, its God's blessing that i can sell it at this rate. cus its like so used, but its still presentable anyway. the drumset was a gift and blessign from God too that i can actually get it without causing so much trouble at home with my parents than expected. no one complained during the time when i practice and played. come to think of it, i owed jamie one! he unconditionally allow me to store my drum at his hse for the time being after i moved hse! thx God for such frens :)

last pics of it :)

its a long story that i got lost while searching for jamie's house to get the money and see the buyer. oh man i have bad sense of direction. so i walked under the sun for like so looong and panicking when i was like 1 hr late to the time the buyer come to collect the drums and pass me the money. finally got to see the buyer. its a She! and we chatted and shared cab. she didnt even want me to pay for the cab. thats so nice of her. im so glad to place my drums in her hands :) btw she's 33 yrs old! and she look like 23? lols!

i start to ask myself is it becus of walking under the sun for so loong thats why i got a fever. and the next thing i knew, after a nap at home,i've got a fever! waking up with fever is the last thing i would wanna feel! anyway i went to see doctor 3 times! the 1st time cus of rashes. its like caterpilla rash cus of running arnd teletubby hill during pe! cus first few to come back, have more time to rest for intervals so i usually lie down or sat down with the rest. eeeww that causes all my rashes! heard that all the pe teachers got it. my whole class girls got it except like 2 girls. ewww.. scartchy itchy!

2nd time went to see doctor cus of fever, flu, sorethroat and all come tgt. doctor said its becus of virus flu that cause all these symptoms. after 4days, still haven recover. so went to see the same family doctor again. it was a disaster at home with fever. at first went up to 38degreee + but it keep fluctuating so i thought i could go back to sku. i recover at 37 and that back at 38 again. and so after 5 days of fever. it was scary, i have difficulty breathing as my throat was sore ans swollen. worst of all my fever went up to 39.6 degree! hot hot! so mom rush me to tan tock seng. im so scare my head will be burnt and become dimwit! lols.. so went to hospital A & E. that serious cus that time i have to breathe hard and im scalding hot and dizzy. im so scare i faint. its so uncomfy that i teared and tears roll down my cheeks as i was in the taxi being sent to Tan Tock Seng.

i think i really scared my mom and freaked her out! cus after i go off the cab, that was at night 9pm plus on the 5th day of my fever, wed. anyway afetr i get off cab i was so giddy that i told my mom i was dizzy and scare i was gg to faint. i took my blood test. my very 1st blood test! im so scare. a few times i attempted to donate blood. but in the end sort of blood pressure too high cus i very nervous and scare of needles. but i really wanna donate. man. anyway i was so scare to see blood and the nurse make it worse by saying it is gonna hurt a little. yea it hurt a little but i was more fearful of seeing my blood tube. my blood colour is like blackish dark red!

it took quite loong b4 blood test result came out. meanwhile i tried to keep myself awake as im so afriad of fainting and never waking up or waking up in the sick bed. lols but God is good! my blood test came out and no signs of dengue or anything! the doctor checked and spotted white spots on my throat and said that it is due to virus in my throat that causes fever! no wonder no matter how many pills i take, my temperature just dont subside and recover. its becus i have to cure and deal with my throat before my fever could heal.

the doctor speak sooooo soft ah,that i dont even know what she is saying. my mom agrees too. in the end i dont even know wad virus is that. its a symptom call "C....". I know it starts with C but dont know what is it call lo.

miraculously, God healed me the very next day the sixth day! my fever subsided althou still having some giddiness and sorethroat. but the fever was a pain as compared to other symptoms.

what was a miracle is that during my sick week, i drew away from God unknowingly. even before im sick, i feel so spiritually dry. its is becus of my negative attitude that made my sickness worse and lasted longer. i keep confessing that i wont recover and even thought about death or becoming the worse of being a dimwit after burning my brain. gosh i even felt suicidal cus the fever is making me feel even lonelier and empty at home. i felt unproductive and so downright useless. i became so dependent that i needed my mom in everything. i kept complaining and worrying that i wont recover and keep whinning to my mom that i was in pain. it was so lonely at home alone with little companion the whole week. i felt useless! i worried abt my school work and all. i procrastinate, thats how negative i was. i was left alone at home with mom when my sister go out to study and my dad goes to work. sometimes my mom go out for a looong time to fetch my sis and go out to shop and bring my sis out to play, i was left alone at home with fever. thats when the negative thought come to me. i was alone and i felt so empty, so deep down empty inside my heart that i realise that the holyspirit have left me cus i have not been praying.

i have so negative thoughts that i dreamt of being pounced on and chased by witches and zombies. guess wads funny. i dreamt of L4D witches! lol.. the 2nd time the devil attacked me. i dreamt of being in hell without God. my uncle who is a full-pledged commited buddhist is the hades incharge of healt. my aunt his wife was the helper. his sons were in hell. and i was with them. i dont rmb whether my sisters are there or not but my other cousins were probably there too. i was thinking in my heart, aint i going to heaven cus of jesus who dies for me and gave me a chance to renew myself with my sins cleansed alrdy? didnt i repented? why was i in hell with my non-believers and unrepented cousins and uncles? i asked God after i woke up from my dream that is He gonna let me go? i knew deep down in my heart that i was drawing so far away from God and this dream is a warning, an alarm for me that im dragging myself to the past where i know no Jesus and was still sinning and dont believe in God's unconditional love. i dont want, i knew that. but i just cant bring myself to start praying. i dont know what and how should i pray. i cried out for the holy spirit to help me.

during these emptines in my heart, God did not give up on me. i thought the holyspirit has left me. but it didnt infact. i keep having voices in my head telling me to do what is right and prompting me to open up the bible for God to intervene and pray. i heard these voices. yet i thought it was my own consicousness telling myself to do what is right.

God sent many ppl in my live during this 1 looong week to bring me back to where i was. he brought me back into reality. i knew i needed a wake up call.even my mom scolded me and ask me to wake up. i was like not myself the whole sick week. just so not myself. downright negative that i seriously need to wake up and WAKE UP! i was living in emptiness.

Thank God. He sent my mom to remind me of his words. my mom every night will tell me to pray and ask God for healing. she prayed for me. but i know i have to pray to work it out and believe and have faith that he truely heals. i knew that there are no other healer like him. my medicine are not as powerful as his's miracles and wonders. yet i turned away from this truth the moment the holyspirit reminded me on this. my mom asked me, "have u thought about why u r sick and left to all quietness and time to urself? God wanna speak to u in this time. why dont you open up ur bible and start to listen to what He have to say?" i knew that i needed to pray yet i felt so weak to do so. my mom reminded me to listen to praises and worships as i rest so that healing may come as i praise and worship. instead of listening to them, i complained that its too loud and i needed quiet rest.

But God didnt give up one me after sending my mom to remind me, He sent me angels who pass by right at my door to talk to me about Him and salvation. first, two young teenagers my age came up to my door and gave me pamplets of their church and ask whether i believe in God. i felt irritated then. i just took their pamphlet and told them i am from a chuch. then they walked off looking as if they haven made a difference in my life. i didnt even bother to look at it and the next thing i knew, the pamplet was wetted due to my drink. my sister wanted to throw it away. i gave it a 2nd glance and threw it away.

God didnt give up again, he showed his unconditional love once again. He send my auntie to me this time. my auntie always guide me along in my studies, in life, and most importantly in my spiritual walk with God. My mom sent her to call me. The moment my auntie call me, i can feel the great annointing thru the phone and felt so broken down that i almost teared. i held back my tears painfully and put up a false front. i knew i was touched by the holyspirt right away as my auntie begin to talk about God and how i need to have the faith to believe in him and stop worrying. She gave me verses in th bible that talk about stop worrying and how he will heal me and she also gave me a mindmap of how i show plan my lifestyle so as to get my studies right back on track. my mom told her abt my bad results and she planned how i should study and she even advice me to get enough rest as i always sleep very late at night which cause the next day of school to be a tough one.

before i put down the phone, my aunt ask me to have my quiet time and listen and talk to God immediately. i was so encouraged to do it. but distractions came again, my 2nd sis came home and we chatted and then my mom called to ask me to fetch my youngest sister from the bustop up to home safely. its the first time my 8 yr old sister took the bus home alone. so i got to go down. when i came home, i was distracted to pray.

God this time sent another angel by my door step. an auntie came and said that she has come to discuss with me about the bible. i was shocked! cus in a week, its shocking enuff for 2 peersons to stop by to talk to me about the bible. anyway she made me so energized in the spirit that i wanted to pray and read the bible right away. she asked me sth that i was shocked. she asked me "have u ever thought of why God bring sufferings even though he love us?" this exact qn i asked my mom a few days ago as i was feeling desperate for a reason im sick while God has the power to heal me right away when i wasnt healed right away. she told me that it was the devil who causes these calamities not God. she said that ppl sometimes brought to themselves tragedies not God. God gave us choices, and we chose the wrong path. choices is the free gift from God which we were given. and i thought about it.

i have a revelation thru the week that i was like job. God highly favoured Job and even allow saturn to tests Job's faithfulness to God. saturn brought upon many calamities to Job's live. he was blinded and his health was greatly threaten even after he having his whole family perished. that is how worse the situation was but he kept on believeing in God and gave praise and in the end saturn lost the battle to prove that Job will give up on God when he is weak and dying. God bless and gave all back to Job more than 10 times more by belesing him with family members again and he got his health and vision back. i asked myself, is this my period of trial and tribulation? am i being tested by saturn to test my faithfulness to God and believing in him? if it is, i cannot lose the battle! although i may have looked like i have lost half the battle, but i held on finally.

i finally gave in to God and started my first quiet time after all this tough time. i worshipped and prayed. i felt so filled suddenly. this was the time i realise the holy spirit has not left me al these while. He was just inside of me reminding me and whispering to me to do what is right. i realised then that the small still voice in my head belongs to the holy spirt. i began to rejoice and praise God. God healed me right away! all sickness and every giddiness is all gone in Jesus name! i felt no longer empty, but so filled with joy and peace that God gave me. i realise that i need to strengthen my faith once again, more than before and DEPEND on him more than before and not merely just on my own stregth. like what my aunt said, i cannot excel in my studies based on merely my own stregth, i have to rely on God and ask him for wisdon before i start my studies.

i was so happy that i am healed physically. most importantly, im healed spiritually and emotionally. i no longer feel worthless and unproductive. instead i feel so encouraged that i began to study right away and read my notes! i looked at my goals on my wall. its still there hung up thank God. it reminded me to pursue my dreams and goals for this yr once again. the holyspirit encouraged and motivated me to have once again the spirit of excellence in whatever that i do including studies. i began to put away negative thoughts of getting a C in my chinese means my world fall apart. i swept away this thought and start believeing and relying on His strength to get me going!

hallelujah! praise God for his faithfulness and never giving up on me for when im weak, I AM STRONG! i shared this loooong testimony in cellgrp mtg and it went pretty long that my Cgl, xue en said that he no need to preach alrdy. haha.. i hoped i have encouraged the other members through my testimony. i also realised the looong week was not only tough for me, but tough for many of my cellgrp members. they were spiritually dry too and xu en was going thru major transitions in life of getting to working zone soon.

i thank God for never giving up on me. i will love Him forever! :D

i promised to blog about my birthday and CNY week. and here are all the wonderful pics! i had a fun time cus all my relative and family came down to my birthday celebration cum CNY party. its sort of a hse warming as we had just shifted to a smaller hse. but it doesnt mean we are not prospering. God prospered my family when the whole family gave to building fund the last yr. my whole family contributed. even my father and my youngest gave at age 7. she gave the best she could. she told me a few days ago that she is gonna give her angbao money as much as she could probably all in her money box. she told me that God will bless her more as she give. at a young age, she understood the principle of giving and she gave so cheerfully and in faith that God pour down blessing into our household as we give. maybe she received alot of financial blessings alrdy which i believe she did, thats why she know giving has to be cheerful.

side track abit, God had blessed us so much and so tremendously financially.

family: from whole family living in 1 room, to living in 3 room flat, to living in 5 room flat to purchasing a new waterfront yet to finish building condo at bedok. sold our 5 room flat and earned a more than 100k profit. bought at arnd 340k and sold at 460k. about 120 k profit! and we even bought a new place to stay. we moved back to a new 3 room flat. but that is only temporary before the condo is build. probably if we feel comfortable living in 3 room, we will use the condo for investment and buy more apartments to invest. thank God for financial blessing!

father: from working as a lorry driver to training and winning trophies for bodybuilding and fitness competitions like STRONGMAN championship. ( i witnessed him towing alone a lorry with cartons of beer and 2 ladies modelling on it. i also witnessed him wearing a swimming trunk and modelling during his bodybuilding competition . believe me, its very very hilarious when my mom shouted while videoing down. shouting "go daddy go daddy" lol!)

after all these experience, he became a california personal trainer. then he came out to do his own business now, by renting a gym at intercontinental hotel and train wushu plus body fitness in the gym. want nice figure? wanna slim down? wanna be fit with muscles like my dad? $60-$70 per hr. interested call me. lol. now he just took up housing agent lessons. he wanna train ppl + sell houses. haha! its a bonus man! so happy. pls pray with me that he will pass his agent exam! he is studying hard now like me. he need support and i tink i wanna bless him with a electronic dictionary. his english is not very good and often consult me how to spell and give definitions. gotta understand that he studied untill sec 1 only. his income rises almost exponentially i can say. :)

mom: income rises after all these yrs of giving. promoted to assistance manager optician. promotion meant more money coming in. mua haha money money money. being blessed so much in finances that her shopping money always icrease la. gotta save more too. got so many bags and endless birkenstock and fitflop slippers already. buy new LV bags. i dont think
is nice actually. anyway its gonna be mine someday, i shouldnt complain. hehe.

me: o level result was a blessing to me. that was the year i gave in faith. all As and Bs no C and D. Alevel must also like that! blessing of getting a drumset at a cheap rate. blessed with increased allowance! so much increase that my spending increase so much. i should start to save more and more. at first parents say economic downturn we have to sell 5 room house and move to smaller hse and have cut in all our allowance but in the end we got condo and increase in allowance. mine increased by arnd 80%. nearing twice the amt. i also sold my drumset at a reasonable price. blessed with ipod.blessed with open doors to play in gigs.

indeed God is good. he said that he wil bless us untill we have so much that we can bless others too. i sold my drumset cus of a revelation of contributing the money to buildingfund. part of the money was used to bless my family too. $100 to mom, dad only took $50. i know its little to them la. but its my love for them mah. i wanted to give $100 to both my grandparents but they refuse to accept it. then i used part of the money that i got from papa refusing to take another $50 and the money which was suppose to give my grandparents to shop. i shopped for a bag that is so cute that i cnt resist to bring it to school. its a school bagpack which will cheer up my day. colours make wonders. i bought 2 new dresses too! lovely!. i bought some other miscellenious too :)

eugenia sis: blessing financially. got more than 1k pay check. she was blessed to bless others more. she use the blessings she get from God to buy us expensive xmas gifts. studies improves. attitude towards studies improve drastically. Nlevel result was acceptably great to me. but she think she can do better. pray that Olevel get better grades! :)

gladys sis: blessed not only with increased allowance, but studies also better and stablise. manage to get into second best class. becoming ambitious. blessed with open doors to perform and showcase talent of dancing with best dancing pals. angbao money auite alot that she saved her first $400 finally.got her first phone!

joy sis: gave a large proportion of her money and savings. blessed with open doors to showcast talent of dancing and humouring too. praying for more open doors! financial blessing i think higher percentage than me lor.. mommy always giver her extra money too. got her 1st phone too! teacher say her chinese improves. wah good.

Thank God for so much financial blessings. indeed he promises to bless us by opening up windows of heavens and pour down abundant blessings into our store house so much so that we cannot contain when we start to give. :)

ok finally to my birthday. ok i had fun. i will talk with pictures.

on new yr eve, as usual went for family dinner at grandma's with delicious food. we have lao yu sheng! all the fun and laughter :D

mommy and papa :)

1st day of new yr, my birthday too! my birthday party cum new yr celebration at our hse downstairs bbq pit. we set up steam boat there too. joyjoy so cute. her make up so thick that day. yet cant hide her manliness.

papa set up steamboat and lots of food. he was the key factor to all kids joy

papa in red and gladys. gladys has grown so much taller in the new yr! pri 6 alrdy 160!

me with enqi cousin and eugenia sis! finally i look older. the next pic featured me with gladys sis!

my sisters :)

eugenia sis with pretty cousin ah li! ROM at 21 last xmas yet nv give me ang bao :( lol!

mom and paternal aunt! mom just have a hair cut. i prefer her with shoulder length hair. looks cute-er. mom can play bball ok! look! she shoots and scores!


reunion of cousins! this is a handsome cousin of mine. smaller than me a few months. he grow so tall suddenly last yr. i was supposed to be taller lor!

cousin ben di! seldom see him. so a sure must to take pic with him :) he now play fb leh! communicate thru fb lor. haha! fb, the place to connect cousins!

sweet bday cake! real sweet ok. strawberry cheese cake. mommy nv write my name.lols. veri exp. arnd $40+ for cheesecake. but veri yummy! :D blessed bday!

making a wish with lucky cousin zayne. he wanna touch the cake before i blow. must control him . hehe.

cutting cake by da jie!

nth is better than fireworks! i mean mini fireworks sticks. how i hope we can put real fireworks!

my lovely and sweet ah ma! she so cute la. she came to my bday party yeah! this time no need her to cook, she sure very happy. hehe. next pic is all about cousins! they were my grow up mates. guys dont know how to pose. if u notice, all face chou chou.!


last but not least, a wonderful pic with ah ma and aunt! yeah, bday cum cny party is a success!

really wanna thank God for all the fun He had given to me on my beloved bday! and especially those upsized angbaos that came true! so happy on that day. many presents and $$.

its a long post. hehe. this will last u readers for a week before im free to post again. hahas. im excited for block test! :D cus i know God will give me the endurance and the strength to study and He shall provide me with the wisdom to study and excel. thank u God. i have fought the battle well. Good night and Amen! :)

ps. i love my new customised bag which made me look forward to school everyday as its bright colour cheered me. colours works wonder. love my shorter pony tail now. not so heavy on me. and very easy to manage. hehe :D (random)

Took joy out one day and here are the random pics of her in lion dance and more :D

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