Friday, May 6, 2011
i'd rather have Jesus

(i) I feel safe in the centre of God's will

Its rather true, that there is no where safer to be than to be in the centre of God's will.
well this sentence strucked me. strucked me pretty much
that it got me thinking ABOUT MY FUTURE
mm... i get so easily discouraged (even thou i look strong), when ppl ask me

what course i want for Uni. when i replied "social work", ppl say"u sure not? it entails more than u think, r u sure u r up to it?"

or they would reply

"LOL u sure not? do u know the salary is very very low?"

so usually i will just say "oh im applying for psychology"since its simpler to understand in "their sense".

infact my family members will sort of pull me down or pour cold water on me by saying " why not chose psych, since it pays more"

or my dad will say "stupid, study so much do this?!"

And my uncle expectedly says "u no need to study untill degree to do social work"

or "do it as ur passion part time but not work"

hmmm... but i have long decided before my Alevels that social work degree

course is the one i wanted. or if not, im called for it by God.

its not exactly the course "i wanted".

i wanted glamorous career, high salary, comfy and stress free environment.well social work is the entire opposite of what i want. but ppl dun understand why i told them i want social work. well if i write on it will never end.

there are so many instances where God whispers to me that i HAVE TO DO IT.OR RATHER, I JUST HAVE TO BE IN THIS MARKET.

there r just so many many instances i hear this over n over again.

it felt calm with no pressure.

sometimes i chose to run away from this whisper that calls me to obedience by turning my head around to face somewhere literally or just think abt how glamorous it will be if im in this course or that course or this job or that job.

but somehow, something always pull me back and reminds me that

hey, I JUST HAVE TO DO IT.

ITS LIKE HOW? I ASK GOD.

hmm.. GOD answered "u do ur best, I DO THE REST"

WOW I HEAR THIS ALOT OF TIMES SO I SORT OF LIKE IGNORE.

but man, i know deep down in my heart la, that its sth Im being called to do even thou its not my choice la. somehow i develop a passion for social work and visitations gradually too.

weird right.

there r so many doubts, like

HOW MUCH WILL I BE PAID?

BUT MY FAMILY LIKE GOES ALL THE WAY TO DISCOURAGE ME

ESPECIALLY MY GRANDPARENTS AND UNCLE SIDE.

AM I GONNA SURVIVE?

CAN I COPE WITH THE STRESS?

WHAT IF PPL LOOK DOWN ON ME?

WILL I REGRET LOOKING AT PPL HIGE LUMP SUM OF PAY CHECK

WHEN MINE IS LIKE ONLI LESS THAT 40% OF THEIR'S?

WHERE CAN I TURN TO WHEN THERE R SO MANY OBJECTIONS?

hmm.. i "bluffed" myself say, eh why not psychology? pay slightly more

and its a good deed anyway to treat mentally illed patients.

hmm.. but something somehow always pul me back with the conclusion

"SOCIAL WORK" IS THE COURSE I ULTIMATELY HAVE TO GO"

seriousli ah, what can i do with the degree anyway? --- biggest doubt

but today i heard

"THERE IS NO WHERE SAFER THAN TO BE IN THE CENTRE OF GOD'S WILL"

WOW.

since God calls me to do it, i must be in the centre of His will right?

THEN IT MUST BE THE SAFEST ROUTE TO TAKE!

i shouldnt doubt anymore like how dangerous getting into that course could get me..

like the salary range,

the objections i face

the personal doubts of my capabilities..

cus GOD WILL TAKE CARE of this route he calls me to be in.

IN OTHER WORDS,

THERE IS NO COURSE SAFER THAN TO TAKE THIS.

becus...

IM IN THE CENTRE OF HIS WILL.

(ii)Talking to my old man in the mirror?

today i got back home and i was like " oh man, i spent so much within these few days"

with all that sister's bdays and mom's bday coming...

im broke liao la.

cus i give no mercy when i buy gifts.

oh gosh.. how ah?

scarli need to stay home for 1 mth cus no money go out liao.

silly me.

DIDNT GOD PROMISE THAT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF MY WORRIES

WHEN I CAST MINE ON HIM?

so why am i still worrying sia.

so i literally told myself in the mirror just now when i rched home that

"i'd rather have Jesus, than to have...

all the riches in the world"

i told myself...

"Since i have Jesus with me, why am i worrying?"

"He will provide for me surely"

"i dont care about riches and glory cus ultimately my purpose..

is to glorify Him and His kingdom

If i always think abt getting rich, wont my finances be my IDOL?

surely thats not what i want.

I told myself in the mirror that

i rather have Jesus than anything else.

i rather have him than a famous fun group of friends to hang out with

i rather hang out with Him.

i rather have Jesus than all the money that i can have.

cus my happiness comes from Him.

i rather have Jesus than a glam job.

I RATHER HAVE HIM THAN ANY OTHER FRIENDS THAT

I COULD HAVE THAT COULD EVER REPLACE JESUS IN MY LIFE.

i mean seriously pastor is right, why mixed myself in the world and

contaminate myself with earthly sins and GOSSIPS?

if ppl talk, i should just walk away and not contaminate myself with it.

so what if those ppl who talk abt it are the "cool gang"

it doesnt mean i must yoke myself with them.

cus ultimately its Jesus i wanna be with.

(iii) Take away points from ezekiel bs

# we r what we are by the grace of God. (not by our own strength)

# dont trust in ur own beauty or talent (cus God gave u it, not by ur own strength )

# if anyone touches me, he is touching the apple of God's eye

( bahaha so funny! cus im the apple of God's eye)

#Idol is anything that takes the place of God ( so get ur heart right)

# dont let the words of ur idol be more impt than God's word

#in a crisis, will we rely on the grace of God to sustain us

or reject the grace and allow hatred and bitterness to enter us?

#all trials are permitted by God and designed for our promotion (spiritually or breakthrus)

#lover of pleasure or lover of God?

#in severe troubles, God wil lalways give us a door of HOPE

so that no temptation or trial will overcome us"

recently i feel discouraged althou i picked myself up alrdy,

but i feel that whoever is reading this, might find this useful and relatable.

i felt discourage cus i felt that how come as a believer, im suppose to shine and get blessed more, yet i see my non believers friend getting "promotions" like getting to the Uni when i haven got any news yet so far, and they get the course they want and the scores they want inspite of anyhow submitting their choices. and the more sad thing to me during that period is that, these ppl dun even seem happy or cherish that they enter the course cus they think its normal or they deserve it totally. its like, if i were them i would be overjoyed la. they treat it like normal routine when others r yearning to get in while nv getting in, in their life time. how come ppl r so hard to please and hard to be satisfied?

then i felt life is unfair alittle. but usually in this kinda situation i pick myself up pretty fast. thx God for the bible.

the world is so unfair and injustice at times but...

"REALISE IN THIS UNCERTAIN WORLD, GOD IS CERTAIN. TRUST HIM AND KNOW THAT HE IS GONAN PROVIDE EVERYTHING U NEED BECUS HE LOVES U. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT U DONT UNDERSTAND JUST DO WHAT U THINK IS RIGHT. AND LET GOD TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING."

i will end my post with this beautiful song we sang today.

i's rather have Jesus than silver or gold.

i' rather be His than have riches untold.

i'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands.

I'D RATHER BE LED BY HIS NAIL-PIERCED HAND.

chorus

than to be a QUEEN/king of a vast domain.

or be held in sins dread away.

i'd rather have Jesus than anything else.

this world affords today.

i'd rather have Jesus than men's applause.
i'd rather be faitful to his dear cause.

i'd rather have Jesus than world wide fame.

i'd rather be true to his holy name.

bridge

He's fairer than lillies of rarest bloom.

He's sweeter than honey from out of the comb.

He's all that my hungering spirit needs.

I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead.

ciao xD

Posted at 2:04 AM

Handwriten by Felicia.L